Relationship articles
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The 100 laws
- In any group of abused women there's almost always at least one who is extremely attractive; well groomed, well presented and the complete opposite of the kind of stereotypes that people normally harbour.At one domestic violence workshop, I met a stunning young woman. Blond, slim, stylishly dressed and beautifully made up, she looked as if she divided her days between working out in the gym...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - What is abuse?
- Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, psychological sexual, or financial.It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviours, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders.Most abusers and batter...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The narcissist and his family
- We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears, hopes and desires ? a whole emotional baggage ? from the former to the latter. The narcissist is no exception.The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are either Sources of Narcissistic Supply (and, then, idealised and ove...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Coping with your abuser
- How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. They easily sway the system in their favor.Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the distilled experience of thousands of victims of abuse. They may help you cope with abuse and o...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Home for the holidays: start that conversation
- Annie waited too long to have that talk with her parents. It was too late to have it now as they were both beyond comprehending the seriousness of their situation. As a result, she had to break the bad news to a long lost brother, and deal with her resistant parents who had convinced themselves that they were independent in their own home, while she had to make some very difficult decisions for th...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - No more lonely weekends!
- How do you react when you are faced with spending another weekend alone because nobody has invited you to do anything with them?Do you mope around the apartment, hoping that the phone will ring, and wishing that somebody, somewhere, will call to invite you to do something?Just because no one has invited you to do anything with them, doesn't mean you have to spend your time alone feel...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - A heat-scar named desire
- Where on earth is my "play on words" taking me with this one?I remember so well those taunting words."They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields."New Orleans, Streetcars, Marlon Brando, Vivien Leigh and a film steeped in controversy and symbolism.What, you may be ask, does th...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Lists, lists, and more lists
- Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship wants to know, what are the signs that my partner is cheating on me. Well guess what! These signs can leave you with more doubts than anything else. You've seen some. Shoot, if you've subscribed to The Injured Heart you've even seen a list of signs on this website. I included them as a thank you for subscribing to my newsletter beca...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Build your social support network
- A social support network is a group of people who you can count on to support you. They may be the first people you call when something upsetting has happened, when you have a difficult decision to make, or when you have fantastic news to share. Some of the people in your social support network might be professionals and support you in very specific ways (i.e. your family doctor or your life coach...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - To know you is to love you
- How do you show someone you love them? Do you buy them expensive gifts? Spend quality time together? Make personal sacrifices just to see them smile? Dedicate a song to them? Write a love letter or note of encouragement? Become their cheerleader? Those are wonderful things to do but my question goes deeper then those types of activities, even beyond your romantic partner. Think about your parents,...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Should you forgive infidelity?
- If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you there must be a desire to forgive the other person. After all, if you knew 100% for sure without doubts that you definitely should NOT forgive, then you wouldn't be entertaining the question, right? You would have already said your goodbyes and would be moving on with your new life and licking your wounds. You may or may not have t...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Let kissing liven up your meetings (and more kissing tips)
- Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport ever?Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they m...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - American women really don?t like you
- Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in the United States, has witness the wrath, jealously and prejudice of American women towards Asian ladies. I know I have, as have many of my friends. The stereotypical has some merit: American women can't compete against the Asians' sexuality, American women feel threaten and some American women simply think Asians are stealing their men. These all bea...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Holy mantrimony
- In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine has been running on all cylinders to oppose the legitimacy of homosexual marriages. I would invite the pope to take a look behind him and see just where he was less than a year ago with the Church itself was mired in controversy. Apparently, the pope has no problem with sexual intercourse between a man and a boy, as long as he is at least a pri...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Girl talk - boy talk
- Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how right they were. Women just love to rabbit! Whether you calling it chatting, nattering, gassing or just plain talking, we're way ahead of the opposition in the vocal stakes. Not that I'm saying it's a reason for our men to dump us, as suggested by Chas and Dave, but I've no doubt there are times when they wish we'd put a sock in it.More often than...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Rediscovering love and intimacy
- Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. Within a few minutes of speaking with her in a phone session, I understood exactly the underlying cause of their relationship problems.Wendy, coming from a family where she experienced much neglect, had ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Trust starts with you
- "I have a hard time trusting people.""I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife)."It is very common for me, in my work as a counselor, to hear the above statements. Trust issues abound in relationships. However, resolving trust issues is not about getting another person to be trustworthy. It's about you become a trustworthy person with yourself and learnin...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - True love - part 1
- True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?More often than not, it is not uncommon to find th...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Is your mate cheating?
- You've been together several months, but something doesn't feel quite right with your partner. You start wondering if he or she might be having an affair. Is it jealousy, your imagination or just apathy that is the result of long-term complacency with each other? It can be hard to tell sometimes, but when in doubt go with your gut and look for the following behaviors that might mean your mate is h...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Feel like a (romantic) kid again
- If the start of the school year makes you a little nostalgic about your own school days, why not take a little trip: back to your own childhood! Make a date with that special someone and act like children again. You'll soon see that this child-like fun can be just as romantic as a grown-up date (and a whole lot easier on the budget!)Buy some bubble gum. Have a bubble blowing contest....
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The economics of true love
- In the real world, can there be romance without finance? A common saying: No romance, without finance. But what does it mean really? After a little thought about it and a hard look at the big picture, we see that it actually derives from the fact that in the real world, there is actually some level of bias to any decision we make, including our decision to love or be in love.In a land of ut...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - If you love me
- If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the love games we play, and in all aspects of human endeavors, maintaining positive relations with each other is a must, to live in harmony and peaceful coexistence with each other.The surest path to keeping good relations with our fellow humans is to know what their dos and don'ts are, and adhere strictly to the same. An infringement ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - To love or to be in love
- What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean.Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the person and love the person's personality, way of life, etc? Truly be comfortable with such a person? Certainly! Most of us know significant others in ou...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Anniversary blues
- Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Recently, just one week before their wedding anniversary, they had a particularly hurtful argument. Jamie had expressed her unhappiness about Kurt's busy schedule and the limited time he finds to spend w...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Can this relationship be helped?
- I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps their partner is an alcoholic or drug addict. What are their chances of saving their relationship?Since two people always get together at their com...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Relationship advice for women - beyond the happy ending - part 2 the not-the-same syndrome
- How often do we complain that our man isn't romantic enough or he doesn't treat you like he did when you first started dating? Come on, admit it, we do this a lot. The way I see it, there are two sides to this. Side one, he really has changed and he isn't romantic enough and side two, he isn't doing what you want him to at the time.Let's explore side two first. I'll use me as an example bec...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Coping with your difficulties in yourself
- Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a problem, particularly if the difficult person happens to be yourself."Can you identify with this statement? Often, when things are not going well, we wonder what the problem is. Often we are the problem. We become our own worst enemy.Are you a perfectionist? This can deter you from finishing a project or a d...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How to slay the toxic dragon in your life
- How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five Simple StepsAny time you spend around that toxic dragon , you are adding another cup full of misery to your life. You must accept that the toxic person you are with will not change, does not want to change, and does not want you to change. The toxic people want to keep poisoning you with their behavior and feel that they have every right to do s...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - 7 ways to improve your relationship
- Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, "If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship." This is not a true statement, any more than it's true that you don't have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.I've discovered, in the 35 years that I've been counseling couples, 7 choices yo...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - He said, she heard: communication meltdown within relationship
- It starts young, as babies. We learn communication from our parents starting with single words--mama, dada, we add adjectives, big boy, nice kitty. And even though we learn, and speak, the same language--English, French, German--we also learn sub-languages, languages that may differ so greatly we clog communication as if speaking to a foreigner, or worse. With a foreigner we expect to not understa...
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