New marriage-just the beginning
The beginning of a marriage can seem like a magical time, but it can also be a time where you can easily start building resentments and distrust if you are not careful. Here are a few points to keep in mind so you can keep your new marriage feeling for a long time to come.
Probably one of the most difficult, and potentially dangerous, situations for a newlywed couple is finding the right balance when dealing with in-laws. This can be especially difficult if one of the partners was still living at home right before the marriage.
It can take time for the parent to learn to let go and they may want to be in the life of their newlywed child more than the newlywed child, and spouse, would really like.
It's important that the newlyweds stay united on this front. Decide (compromise if you have to) on what the limits will be. Decide if you think the parents should call before they stop by, or if you think you should limit the number of visits and calls weekly.
Once the two of you have come up with a plan you can both agree on, it's time to tell the folks. Whether you do it together as a couple or one on one will depend on the unique dynamic of the relationship. If the parents of one partner don't particularly like the spouse, it may be best if the child talks to their parents without their spouse,otherwise there could be fireworks.
The other big problem a new marriage can face is not knowing how to be a couple. You've both been independent and it might take some time to begin to think more like a couple.
No one is saying that you have to lose your identity, far from it. It's really all about balance. Finding the right balance between your "couplehood" and your independence. And the right balance for you and your marriage may not be right for someone else. You and your spouse need to find your balance.
For example, some newlyweds feel like they need to be joined at the hip but unless you are both comfortable with that arrangement, it will only cause trouble. Instead, why not keep the same basic balance you had before you were married? Is there any real reason that that has to change just because you are married? In most cases, no.
You also have to both be willing to talk about things like money and feelings. I know it can be hard and you don't have to share every little thing, but you are in this together now and it's important to establish trust and open lines of communication. The sooner you both learn to do it the smoother your marriage will be.
For many newlywed couples the issues they face are pretty easy to deal with when compared to issues they are likely to deal with later in the marriage. If you can't find a way to work through these easy issues what are you going to do when you have kids, or are faced with health issues, or money issues later in your marriage?
Think of your new marriage like the foundation of your married life. Take the time to make sure you both learn how to communicate, compromise and work through problems together. If you do you will enjoy your marriage a whole lot more.
TAGS: new marriage just the beginning, marriage
Article Source: Messaggiamo.Com
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