Communication relationships-has become a cliche
We hear it so much it has become cliche, even so, that doesn't diminish the importance of good communication relationships. People often don't communicate well, it's a lot more than just talking and listening. There are millions of words we use and millions of non verbal communication that we use on a daily basis. To be effective at communicating with your partner, you want to be aware of both forms of communication verbal and non verbal.
How many times have you told your spouse something and you just knew they were not really listening? Sure, they may have been looking at you but you could just tell that they were not "engaged" with what you were saying? Probably more times than you can count.
Why does this happen? What happened to the good old days when your partner hung on your every word? Well, in most cases it is just a case of taking each other for granted. I don't know who started it first but it may have gone something like this:
1. You would try to tell your partner something, a story or whatever, and you could tell they weren't listening to you.
2. Since you know they never really "heard" you the first time, you repeat the story.
3. Your partner was "kind of" listening and heard part of your story so when you repeat it they really tune you out.
4. So, you try to repeat your story hoping it will be heard but again, you know your partner is not listening. In the meantime they are getting upset with you because you are repeating yourself over and over and you are getting upset with them because they don't listen to you.
Sound familiar? Many couples go through this and it is not easy to break that cycle once it starts. The first step to learning better communication is to ... well, communicate. Explain to your partner (explain, don't blame. Blaming will only make them angry and defensive and you won't accomplish anything if that happens) that you want to work on your communication skills and you would like them to work with you.
Hopefully, your partner is mature enough and loves you and the relationship enough that they will try. It's important to have realistic expectations. It's another cliche that women are more talkative than men, just balance out your relationship based on the two people in it. If your husband is the talkative one than you may be the one who has to be more willing to listen and talk more.
If one of you has been "trained" to hold their tongue either because you are afraid of upsetting your partner or because that is the way you were brought up, it's time to get over it. Learn to speak up and don't expect your partner to interpret your moods and feelings. Let them know.
I have a friend who gets very frustrated with his wife. If he wants to go to a movie, for example, he will ask her if she wants to go. She will say "yes" but her tone and body language actually indicate that she doesn't really want to go. So, he asks if she really wants to go and usually she gets aggravated that he has asked twice but if she would just speak up and say what she really means there could be less trouble.
This is just one simple example of the tension that can arise when there is not
communication relationships.
TAGS: communication relationships has become a cliche, relationship communication, relationships
Article Source: Messaggiamo.Com
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