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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Grief support: the dos
- Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.1) Do give grievers the permission to grieve. You do this by your presence, understanding and acceptance of where they are.2) Do expect volatile reactions from the bereaved. Those in grief are o...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Grief support: the don?ts
- 1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for healing to ultimately occur.2) Don't tell the griever to give it time. Time has stopped for the griever. Life proceeds in slow motion. Life is too surreal to be identified with time.3) Don't try to divert ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - You can help a grieving heart
- Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.Then we clam up. We don't want to hear. We are threatened. If her child died, mine could, too. What can we do when parenti...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Death, close and personal
- I got an email recently from someone whose mother died. She knew I'd suffered the loss of my mother and wanted some insight on how to deal with it. Unfortunately for her, I had no advice...shit...I'm still dealing with it.Every single day I think about my mother. I think about her living and breathing. Talking to me, laughing with me, yelling at me. But I never, ever think about her death. ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Grief
- I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped beating. I didn't know a life could cease before it stopped breathing.I didn't know how devastation could wend a living soul I didn't know how death could make one lose all self control.I didn't know the pain of loss was so intense and sharp. I didn't know the depth of void death leaves within the h...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Are we all losers? understanding grief
- The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. It is also true that the recently bereaved and the about to be bereaved evidence the same stages. Kubler Ross has labeled the 5 stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People do not necessarily go through these stages in any set order or over a set length o...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Loss involves change - the transformative power of loss and change
- There are many experiences in life, which remind us that change is an inevitable part of living. We then have to choose to either to resist this process or look for new ways of finding meaning in our lives. Losing a loved one to homicide, for example, is one of those changes that throw our lives into chaos and disarray. We are forced to see our world very differently, knowing that things will neve...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Made in heaven
- Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times.Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my football matches, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, supported me at my father...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Coping with a funeral
- When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know closely, others may be complete strangers; all will be claiming some kind of relationship to the deceased.Whilst grieving for your loved one you may find yourself not wanting contact with anybody other than those to whom ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Pope john paul ii
- WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am not a Catholic, but I felt a deep loss when Pope John Paul II took ill and then died. That's what happens to us with public people--we connect with them even if we didn't know them. Remember when JFK was shot? When Princess Di was killed? We invite these men and women into our hearts, we live through th...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Lessons we learned from terri schiavo
- Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Whats it all about?
- For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay? until something major happens to rock the boat.Divorce, illness, redundancy, an accident or the death of someone close ? any one of these events is enough to get you thinking about your own morality. When you realise how thin the cord of life is ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How can i transform tragedy?
- There is only one place where tragedy occurs, and that is in the mind. Tragedy may appear to you on the physical level, however, it is the enormous power of your mind that creates the pain and separation you feel, from Love, from God, from Life itself when you listen to what your egoic thoughts are telling you, rather than listen to the voice of pure love, which can ONLY come from God, Holy Spirit...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Traumas as social interactions
- ("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.It would seem that while the victim p...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The grief and belief connection
- "Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace." ~ Bob OlsonIn approximately five years of investigating the possibility of life after death, I have discovered convincing evidence that there really is an afterlife, that we really do continue to exist after death, and that our loved...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - On empathy
- The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to imagine oneself in anther's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th century, equivalent to the German Einfühlung and modelled on "sympathy." The term is used with special (but not exclusive) reference to aesthetic experience. T...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - An unexpected letter
- It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I was standing by my mailbox in the vestibule of the apartment building where I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, holding a letter I had just received. The handwriting was not familiar and neither was the return address, although it was postmarked Seattle, Washington, the same place where Hannah Paulson used to live.Many years ago when I was a littl...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Afraid of dying? afraid of living!
- Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own immortality." The basic idea of death, or the potential of death, created a mind-numbing fear that, in some cases, forced them into isolation to avoid anything that could increase their chances of dying....
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How to heal your heart
- We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. A cold mother, an absent father, being different in any way from our peers and ostracized for it - these are some of the reasons for the early feeling that something is wrong, inadequate and utterly disappointing about us. For others, it happens lat...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Present moment awareness: lessons from my dog
- I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy: As though time were a flower waiting to bloom. My scruffy puppy-happy senior dog knows better. Watching his tail wag as he stands in the middle of a mud puddle, I now understand that happiness is where your heart is, not just where your legs travel. Last summer we moved into the house of our dreams: Beautiful, big and by a football-size...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - In the blink of an eye
- Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivorThirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. Killed when the Mack Truck Lear jet he was traveling on crashed into Lake Michigan, he died in the blink of an eye. There was no warning. His doctor had announced his perfect health a few days earlier. Yet he walked out our front door the Thurs...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Dying at home ? a precious gift
- Few of us care to think about the inevitability of our own demise. We except that we are not immortal, however for the most part, we are successful in putting thoughts of our own death from our mind. When those close to us die, we painfully become aware of the fragility of life and as we contemplate our own mortality, two things become very clear. 1. We do not want a painful death, and 2. We do no...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Coping with grief - its called living through it
- "Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead." "Grandpa died yesterday." "Oh my God, Daddy's dead." "Uncle Jack died today." "Grandma died last night." "I'm standing with the body of your deceased father-in-law." "Hon, I think we should get a divorce." "I'm sorry, but we weren't able to resuscitate your mother." "Mike called. He thinks Mary is dead." "I'...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Good grief!
- If tears are an indication of how special my relationship with my mother was, I cry with pride! I've come to see grief as pain with a purpose. Interestingly enough, as I cared for my mother in my home the last several weeks of her life, much of what I had learned through spiritual teachings about death had gone out the window. It seemed as though I were losing her forever! At times, I wallowed in ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How to deal with a death in the family and still run your small business
- As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. A death in the family. Oh my God you say? What do I do now? Well since I have been there, let me tell you what you need to know.When someone close died in my life, I plunged immedi...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Death poem
- During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. We had no idea of how it would happen. I was loathe to let him out of my sight incase he should suddenly die and not return to me and woke each day fearing that he may have died during the night. Towards the end of his illness I ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Goodbye grandma
- My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry that I was not there with you when you passed.Grandma...I can't believe The last kiss, The last "goodbye" was yesterday... Your death was a shock, I know that you are gone for now I really just do not believe how. I called you all that week You told me that you were not weak.I called you before you di...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Suicide - an eternal pain
- Suicide is the one form of death that has quite a stigma attached to it. It brings with it a feeling of shame and betrayal. It is not the same as saying to someone "My father died in a car crash" nor is it the same as saying someone died from a heart attack. Having to explain that someone took their own life can be quite a difficult thing to do as we have no explanation as to why this dreadful occ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - A critical assessment of euthanasia
- The question of whether, say, a man should have the right to take away his life granted pain and suffering have overcome him is a very important question today. A different way of putting this question is this: 'Should a man have the right to take away his life if he ceases to function as a human being?' This matter would have been laid to rest had it not been that it strikes at the heart of law, ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Scared to death of dying and denying grief
- When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town. Martha stuck it out till the end, softly responding to each person's questions about where she had moved from and the details involving her current job. It was not u...
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