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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - 3 surefire ways to combat rising gas prices
- I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!1. Don't Drive Your Car...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - If, an online marketers internet addiction poem, can you relate to this?
- IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee, or got your kids fed, If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house, While others in the family get ready, your still moving a mouse.If you have more friends online, than you do in real life, And hubby refers to you as his cyber wife.If you cook dinner between web pages and downloads, ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Pee here now
- Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history."Diabetes?" she asked, as if accusing me of illicit drug use."No," I answered."Cancer?" Nope."High blood pressure?" Nope...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Saving spongebob using high tech
- Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits.This would surely be a major deterrent to the kidnappers.Such a plan would insure the safe return of H...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - I got to play an april fools joke before i was born
- I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least.To get the full story I must go back and remind everyone what medical tests were like in the 1970's, they were improving, but still far from the reliabil...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Humor under the keyboards
- For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few researches and I have once again proven that appearances can be decei...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Short story: take a trip to the temple of the great tomato
- Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had the same job, in the same office for 15 years. He's got about 2 years of holiday time built up because he never, and I mean never, goes anywhere, not even to the Coast for a day in the sun. He works very hard, is an amicable fellow, but is single, 39 years old, and boring. Boring is this guy's middle name. I d...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Norm goldman interviews comedienne fran capo,the guinness book worlds record for the fastest talking
- Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker. She also holds the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Female.Recently, Fran ac...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Painful lessons from the maternity ward
- Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.").To a chorus of infant cries, I drafted this column at 1:00 a.m. Of course, it was 3:00 p.m. in T...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Humor quotations - top 35 funny quotations by famous comedians
- "Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer."-- Grace Allen (Gracie)"It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else."-- Grace Allen (Gr...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Laughing toward truth: six tips for lighthearted thinkers
- Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time to lighten up.People love attaching themselves to ideas. We can get pretty feisty when one of our beloved beliefs is challenged. We're too busy defending to spend our time analyzing.Truth has a tendency to get in the way of our beliefs. We like having our rules to live by, our reasons for feeling righteous, and our excu...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The work-from-home fashion primer
- Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.htmlThousands of work-from-home hermits responded, confessing that they were wearing their pajamas while reading my column. Fortunately very few sent me photos. Here are so...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The spare parts gremlins
- Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure you do. Everybody does. That's why Online marketers throw in 36 bonus ebooks with that little software item they are peddling.But a little something extra is not always a good thing.Flash back a few weeks. I was assembling a dresser for my daughter. One by one, I pulled the wood panels from the box. I pulled out a bag of bits...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Funny things we dream
- I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I'm up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don't grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I'm often anxious to see what the day will bring.I think I've stumbled upon the reason for my early...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Dog poo - and you thought you had problems
- In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over a year now.Surprisingly the dog poo brigade has managed to target between 2,000 to 3,...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How i spent my summer vacation
- One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world. A general guideline I have is to live in the present and not yearn too heavily for the past or future; but making brief exceptions for things like vacations can bring some of the benefits of the vacation itself to your daily...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How to get attention, or: as you read this, you feel an irresistible urge to go on reading!
- We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers.But how do you get somebody's undivided attention? When you were an infant, you got attention by screaming and crying. Then your parents knew you nee...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Psychiatric psychiatrist - a joke on psychiatry
- A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. I really wanted to hit him in the face when he asked that. I didn´t do that. I regret that now. No, I replied politely and asked him if he thought I came there because he is such a nice guy, and the chairs are really comfortable. He didn´t say anything to that. He just smile...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Computers according to carol
- A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.C is for Caddy: part of computer that holds a coffee cup.D is for Defrag: a popular dance in the 1920's.E is for Email: post office talk for express mail.F is for Folder: before I pack a dress, I fold er.G is for Game Port: cruise ships dock there to p...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Voodoo munchies
- Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a co...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Local author joins history and humor to tell his stories
- Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for his writing. He's recently published three books, and thinks his blend of history and humor shine a bright spotlight on the local area and its people.Said Yakel, "My roots to the Capital District ha...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The language of appalachia
- Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables. She might say, "Here. Have ye some co-orn-bray-ed;" whereas I might say, "You want some corn-bread?" See? Two syllables on the cornbread; "you" rather than "ye." Unlike my maternal grandm...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Discover the lighter side of the internet
- We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. This feeling can be compounded by other problems in one's personal life, and the result can mean little productivity because of a sour mood. Well humanity does have a lighter side, and t...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Military wives
- I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Marines dont take crap
- We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them. You name it, they're doing it. I have a friend who is a toilet paper salesman. God bless him. It's an honorable job and my butt and I give him a two ply thumbs up thank you butt it's not something I, personally, could ever d...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The patience of job
- Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article. Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I've questioned His existence. Most people will say the reason they doubt God's existence is because, "If there's a God, why is there so much suffering, a...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Wanted: treadmill for an elephant
- Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elepha...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Cant get there from here
- Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere? You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Ju...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Propaganda and american journalism, born joined at birth
- Passion was the main stuff of journalism long before the Civil War, the birthplace of modern American journalism. The Press of the American Revolution during the War and before it, was borne of it. Newspapers then were not as we know them today. Weekly advertising mediums they were, but they were primarily opinion pieces designed to protect interests or to provoke the readership. They were propaga...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Hello i must be going: the vanishing twin
- They walk among us. By the mid nineties, science had only smoked out a few dozen of them worldwide but there are undoubtedly many more. You may well know some of them. You may even be one yourself. Perhaps you're sometimes haunted by the sense that there is someone lurking very near, invisible and silent but sharing that odd thought, impression, or fear from time to time. A more solid clue might b...
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