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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Sweet vengeance purrfected
- I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. My family has usually always had at least one cat among us as far back as I can remember. As with people there are just some animals that seem to have that special something. Harry was one of them. I fell in love with him almost immediately. The bond between us grew and Harry became ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Not your average sunday morning
- Just recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In the course of small talk, a few old memories usually crop up in the conversation. One that instantly came to mind was the day our second son was born.It was early Sunday morning on a crisp day in the middle of May when I was awakened from my sleep by what I knew to be labor pains. Since it was my second pregnancy I was ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Your stars part 3
- LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our screens giving us all a rare, legitimate chance to laugh at the mentally ill during the audition stages. In this PC berserk world we now live in, such an activity has become scandalously frowned upon so it's only right to thank ITV for reviving this tragically forgotten pleasure by switching on in your droves. Also coming soon to your sc...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Poor rixs almanac 8-27-05
- Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former StudentPoor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part. Lunch period was best the part of all.One day I saw a dish labeled "Tuna Surprise." "Why d...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Cheer-leadership or all i need to know about business i learned from cheerleading
- Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being ditzy and mean. However, there are a great many life-lessons that can be learned during your time on the team that have surprising application in the business world.1. Getting to the top of the pyramid means taking a few risks. The person at the top of the pyramid is the one who is willing to ta...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Stopping bad breath bart
- "Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week." OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. It's not something I would say to Attila the Hun during a pre-battle pep rally. But it was not Attila the Hun standing in front of me. It was just my buddy Bart. "Pee-ew! You have bad breath." So when the phone rang that night, the last person I expe...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The zapp principle
- My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred mess, covered with extinguisher gloop. Abdul the camel seemed happy enough though, despite his smoking bum fur.Also surviving the fartplosion was my father's newest invention, all glowing lights and shiny metal buttons. Dad stood before it, looking very proud.'This is my second most precious ba...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - 11 alternative garden games
- Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Weary of boring badminton and jarts? Croquet not your style? Then you're in the right spot! Here are games sure to make your next party the hit of the gardening social season!Icebreakers Game #1: The Gnat Slap Equipment required: A garden of any size. As your guest...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - A dogs guide to... getting your dog to stop barking
- I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you're Amber and Terry, you're going to do NOTHING about it. Ain't nobody going to silence the Rubinman, you know what I'm sayin'? If you're NOT Amber and Terry, though (i.e. you're smart) and you want to know how to get your dog to just freakin' shut up once in a while, here's what you need to know?Why is...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Important safety tip$
- I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've modified this list only slightly to guide you in safely interacting with corporate executives.Do--Hold their hand. [Most executives want to shake your hand when you enter their office. I have found that it is best to allow them to hold your hand as long as they see fit. Extended handholding is non-verba...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Poor rixs almanac 8-13-05
- Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport WatcherThis game begins with the entrance of referees, people with striped shirts who enforce the rules. Occasionally, someone with striped shirt and long stick may appear, and wander aimlessly. He is a "lost golfer," and must be removed.Next come the cheerl...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Fried green tomatoes recipe
- My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard. Let me rephrase. She thinks she found a human bone. They were putting up a fence in their backyard. They've been digging and shoveling and leveling posts. I unloaded some boards to be a Mister-Rogers-kind-of-neighbor. And she was still talking about the human bone she'd shown me the day before.I was walking down the driveway, and ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - How to marry a wealthy guy
- How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least Make Sure they're a Good Money Manager!! ha,ha!)Here are some little tips so you can at least spot a wealthy (or soon-to-be-wealthy) guy:1. If that BMW he's driving is most likely leased, you may be looking at a guy who owes a whole lot of money to someone else... It's pretty easy to LOOK rich. You might want to check out the g...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Setting history straight
- Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. For contrary to popular belief, the series of light operettas commonly attributed to Gilbert and Sullivan were in effect written by the pair of nonentitie...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Miss cleo was a fake... no - really? yes maaan!
- With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic and shaman would give you the answers to all life's mysteries... for up to 9.95 per minute.Turns out, Miss Cleo was not born in Jamaica at all. A birth certificate showing that Miss Cleo was in reality Youree Dell Harris, an American born in Los Angeles in 1962.According to the FTC, the purportedly "renowned psychic" whose...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Do americans really understand irony?
- Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go on to make myself slightly more unpopular by suggesting that our American society does present us with a range of valuable and positive aspects. (no ? I am not being ironic yet) Before you stop reading, let me counter that by suggesting what I see as the greatest fault of our modern society. A self absorbed ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Nine movies that make you want to yell, stop saying that
- Movie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those shared moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and before they can finish you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But occasionally this process extends beyond an inner circle and goes global in its reach. This is where a perfectl...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - And the world goes round
- If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you are permitted to snicker at this problem. Anchorage, Alaska, just opened its first two roundabouts at a major intersection.Not a big deal if you are experienced at negotiating roundabouts, but Anchorage residents certainly are not. The good thing about a roundabout is that it substitutes common sense and courtesy for traffic lights and signs. The...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Tales of a spectator spectator
- Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race .This world of characters can b...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Health club regulars ?- some of the people youre likely to meet at the gym
- One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars:1. Screaming Banshee ?- We've all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of th...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - 25 reasons you might need to wear a welding helmet
- A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet:1. You can't find your bike helmet.2. You lost your Darth Vader mask on the opening day of...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Space, and the room for it
- Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs.With good timing though, I used my head and saved my legs.Anyway, I'm a long time looking and can see nothing in space worth a damn....
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The restaurant chronicles, part 1
- Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz." Servers, bartenders, hostesses, and restaurateurs act on a daily bus...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - When it rains, it pours: creating a plan
- It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem strange to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me..."And what if?" you may be thinking."What if what?" I may be thinking back to you."What if a skele...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Restaurant manager gives out sexual favors as performance bonus, raise
- While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way."We have the lowest turn...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Mexican spaminator
- When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).But alas, there are things in life t...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Used condom found in restaurant salad bar; waiter embarrassed to tears
- Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercour...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The top 10 all time worst jokes about piano players
- Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves is good for both our soul and our humility.So without further ado, here are some of the all time worst piano jokes in descending order:10. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric piano have in ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - American independence ? the true story
- It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two pla...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - [not so] outgoing mail
- I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond. What's so outgoing about that? I think it needs to be renamed "shy mail" or "introverted mail". And besides, the reason a lot of people send mail is because they are not outgoing people and would like to instead express themselves in written form....