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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Keeping faith
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 30, 2003Please bear with me. I desperately need advice. I dated this girl for a year, and we broke up many times because of religion. We are of two different religions, and she wanted our potential children to be of her faith and only her faith.To me that seemed a bit unfair. I too want to share in my children's spirituality, and I too wan...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - False start
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 7, 2003.I was married three months ago, and I think I may have married the wrong woman. What do I mean when I say that? I thought I was in love, and while I have strong feelings of friendship and goodwill toward her, I feel I am alone in this relationship.There is an odd feeling of disconnection and an inability to get to a state of real m...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Walking the walk
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 14, 2003I have a very important question. My wife moved out of the house last year with our young son and daughter. We have done some excellent counseling and made excellent progress. She actually moved back home two weeks ago. You can't believe the relief.We broke up because of my controlling personality, but there were no financial or dr...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Have you been lucky in life?
- Each moment in life, "lucky" or "unlucky", is to be savored, learned from, and appreciated. Easier said than done? Read this heartfelt story and see for yourself.I met an exceptional American man in Athens in my younger years. He had a beautiful and gentle French girlfriend, and everyone was always complimenting him and telling him how "lucky" he was. His usual reply was something to the ef...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Game-set-match
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21, 2003I don't know whether to call it jealousy or insecurity. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. Last year at my husband's surprise birthday party, one of my friends asked who a certain woman in the room was.When I asked why, she said, "She and your husband have been making eye contact all night, and he seems to be payin...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The best policy
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 28, 2003How do I help a former friend let go of a friendship that's not working for me?This woman, I'll call her "Anne," is a life coach. We met last year and hit it off as friends. The problem for me is the vast majority of our conversation centered around Anne and her situation, particularly as it related to men. On and on these conversa...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Addicted to her
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 4, 2003I dated a woman I work with for four years. In both our minds we were soul mates. A year and a half ago she broke it off. I never found out the real reasons.After we broke up she would still tell me she loved me and we were soul mates. Of course at the same time she was dating another man, a married man. But it's worse than that. ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Parental consent
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 11, 2003I am concerned about a relationship, but it is not my own. My nephew aged 21 is planning to get married this November. While I think he is young, I think the bride to be is far too young at only 17.My nephew was home-schooled through half of high school, and she was raised on a ranch and home-schooled as well. In other words, she...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - A brick wall
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility.My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. He says I am sending him to the poorhouse, but I have no recourse but to contact the court when the payments stop. He continues to blame me, even though two judges have explained it ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Harsh reality
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 25, 2003My wife and I married eight years ago. One month into our marriage she was diagnosed with a non-life threatening form of muscular dystrophy. Over the years she has grown more and more dependent on me.She no longer has the strength to carry a child, and it has become apparent we will never have children of our own. She still works...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Look to trees to help you keep balanced and focused while achieving your dreams
- Do you remember looking up through the branches of a beautiful, leafy tree, on a warm sunny day? How the sunlight filtering through the lush greeness, seemed to take on an almost magical quality?And do you recall how this golden sunlight and the softly swaying branches almost seemed to be the physical enactment of a song, a whispering melody, just beyond the reach of your ears?Trees,...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Dream lover
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 1, 2003I met my wife a dozen years ago and her best friend shortly thereafter. I was always fond of my wife's friend. We all shared a good deal of time together through our college years and now into our thirties. She is married with two children as are we.We live in the same town, our families spend a good deal of time together, and ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Emancipation
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003When is it time to divorce a family member?I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his brother who controls the purse strings. My partner and I are both artists, juggling multiple careers to realize our life work and get the bills paid. Our income is limited.My partner's...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The cracked pot
- Letters on Life#3Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Many years ago I had such an experience that remains with me to this day. It shows up in so many areas of my life. To begin with I like to perform. I was a trial lawyer for 30 years and have been a musician since I was seven. Most people would say I am comfortable in front of people. But even now, w...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Keep on keeping on!
- Whenever we are working on our dreams we are going to run into some road blocks or obstacles. The important thing for us to remember is that these are only temporary set backs. We should treat each obstacle as a learning experience and make a mental note not to take that road again. As long as we keep this in mind we won't give up on our dreams.While attemting to get a car that I couldn't a...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Essential ingredient
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 15, 2003I have a couple of questions for you. If a person no longer feels they love their spouse, is it time to divorce?Also, do you think a person who has had an affair can change enough for the betrayed to forgive and continue the marriage? Is it possible to salvage a marriage after the affair?MarieMarie, a book could ...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Justice delayed
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 22, 2003I have three grown children. My elderly father, six younger brothers, and a large extended family live in the old country.The last time I took my children for a family visit was 15 years ago. The reason I have not gone back is because my youngest brother, who was 21 at the time, "fell in love" with my 13-year-old daughter....
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Caste out
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 29, 2003I am a 28-year-old Indian lady. I am in love with a 30-year-old Indian guy for the last four years. We share many interests in common and get along well. We are both Ph.D. students.The problem is the different communities to which we belong. We have a very complex social system and are allowed to marry only the person who belo...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Flight delay
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 6, 2003It took me eight years after my husband died to try a relationship, and now I am thinking maybe I should never have tried.Over a year ago I met Jay. I always felt we had the perfect relationship. We like the same things, have the same type personality, and talked things through when there was a misunderstanding. A few days ago Ja...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Growing from good to great
- I have never been fond of white-water rafting, probably because I don't like cold water. The sport consists of a raft, fast moving cold water, raft riders, and a raft leader/guide. I once saw a picture of a group of girls out for some white-water rafting fun. The girls in the picture were all smiling and waving to the camera while the leader's eyes were straining to see down stream. No doubt he wa...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Secrets exposed
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 13, 2003I've been friends with "Jenny" for three years after my husband and I started a business with her husband. When her husband decided he didn't want to come to work anymore, we pretty much took his name off the business, and they stopped calling and coming over.We would call, but they'd never answer or return our calls. Through an...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The shattered identity
- I. ExpositionIn the movie "Shattered" (1991), Dan Merrick survives an accident and develops total amnesia regarding his past. His battered face is reconstructed by plastic surgeons and, with the help of his loving wife, he gradually recovers his will to live. But he never develops a proper sense of identity. It is as though he is constantly ill at ease in his own body. As the plot unravels,...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Teachers pet
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 20, 2003I am 32 and a mom with two children. I've pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son's teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son's school as often as I could.Eventually I took the chicken's way out and e-mailed this man and told...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Case closed
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 27, 2003I met my boyfriend on an online dating service four months ago. About a month ago I went to the dating service website to take my profile off. Out of curiosity I looked his up, and it was still there. When I mentioned it to him, he said he would take his profile off because he wanted to be with me.Now I know I should have truste...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - A new strategy
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a damper on my relationship with my wife, it takes us days to recover.We have never really gotten along, but lately it has gotten much worse. She...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Faux feelings
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 10, 2003I'm a male, 28, in a happy relationship for a year. None of us is perfect, but we are a good fit for each other and I have a lot of personal respect for my girlfriend. I also think she is now serious about our relationship.For the past year she claimed she was excited about me from the time we first met. Now, however, she admit...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Freudian slip
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 17, 2003My dilemma is this. I've been going out with my boyfriend for five months. He is a very loving and romantic guy and would do basically anything for me. But the other night we were making love, and he said a friend's name instead of mine.Now this girl isn't particularly good-looking, she's quite small, her eyes are funny looking...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The road not taken
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003My husband cheated on me for maybe five years, and yes, I really had no idea. The person he cheated with is a policewoman on his job. She is married and her husband is a cop, too. To make a long story short, I found out about the affair and forgave him, but a few years later I realized it was still going on.So out of anger, I c...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - The information age
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 1, 2003My sister and I are very close, and we don't keep things from one another. Recently she shared with me concerns about her sex life, or lack thereof. She feels like there is something wrong with her because her husband is not attracted to her. They have been married 15 years.A couple of weeks ago I was on the Internet and highlig...
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- 2007-11-13 22:16:19 - Irresistible
- Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye contact. He is single and one year younger than me.Until today he only asked me out one time and that was when a close friend of ours also attended the dinner and we had so much fun. Indeed I never gave h...
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